What awakening can feel like

Every day is different, and it’s difficult to describe what actually changes with a spiritual awakening, but here is one of my diary entries from November 2016:

I feel a kind of aching in my heart. Time is going so slowly, and I think I’m really realising that there’s nowhere to go and nothing to do. It’s all the same. Occasionally I’ll think of the fact that it’s eternity, and there’s a slight repelling feeling, but that fear is mostly long gone, just the tiny remnants remain.

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